Answer Post: I'm with Coco

Greetings Agent Hara

Before I show you the answer for the last challenge, let me say that it’s being really funny sharing this crazy blog with you, despite some grammar mistakes and a certain naked woman (who wasn’t naked). About the pins, I knew that you’d like drawing those pins, which by the way are amazingly awesome!!! (Still waiting for it…). Nice work my child.

And now it’s time to get the job done. If I remember correctly you wanted a list of the 13 worse things that can come out of an Easter egg. You also gave 3 examples for the list, but I’m only going to use 2. Because, if I really understood the “symbology” of the first, I must disagree with you on that one (friendship reasons).
So here’s the list:

13 and 12 - The philosophy test and drunk Alfredo – So agent, I admit,  these are prety bad. But my sadistic mind can do really worse.

11 – Another Egg – At first you could think – Yeah free egg! – But then you realize that, if instead of a surprise gift, is a smaller egg, the gift inside the second egg is going to be smaller too. I usually like to keep things short and simple, but, when it comes to eggs I love it big! Like Big Mike’s size (you know what I’m talking about).

10 – Coupon – “Congrats you’ve eaten one of our smelly and bad tasting eggs! And now you won a 10% of discount in an also miserable prize!” – Imagine all the crap who could cam with this: Soundtracks of “Morangos com Açúcar”, Barbie’s and Action Eunuchs, trips to “Três Minas” or “Soutelo”, or…..wait for it…. can’t believe I’m going to say this….. A SMALLER EGG! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

9 – The Code – Is the name I’ve created for those situations when, we need to send a text message with “the code” (or something similar) for the possibility of winning a prize. “We sell thousands of empty eggs and gave away only a dozen of gifts, so, anyone can call us crooks”. In conclusion this is bad because you pay for the egg, then for the message and the possibility of winning something is 1/100000.

8 – Nothing – this one is like a borderline between the bad and the horrendous. I must warn you! If you’re not impressed with my work so far, do not underestimate me for the top 7.

7 – Naked Kramer – Seinfeld was probably the first American TV show that I’ve seen and probably one of the best. Kramer was a main character of the show. I remember him when I see Chuck’s friends (especially Jeff and Morgan). He was fantastic but in a couple of times he has appeared naked, and that my friend wasn’t awesome (believe me). I also know that you’re really fancy for the “naked man” but you should pass Kramer.

6 – Lifetime Pass to VPA’s Disco – “Welcome to Sausage Land, where you can find 30 man for each woman, the music sucks since we open until we close and you can spend 25€ in only 3 drinks!” – I do not waste more time with this one. (Actually I spent 26€ in 3 drinks).

5 – Mom’s recording messages – You probably know that when I was young I wasn’t exactly an easy child. My mom was always telling me: “Go to bed”, “brush your teeth”,”do your homework”, “don’t play with your sister’s nose”, “and don’t do experiments that could burn the house!”… She told me that so many times that one day she threatened me that would record those sentences and play them if I was doing something wrong. You have to admit this is much worse than the “music box” which you’ve referred at the other post.

4 – Sunglasses in a rainy day – This is the group of gifts, which are amazing, but for some reason also useless, like sunglasses in a rainy day, skis in the desert, a parachutes in a cave, condoms at Alfredo’s house….

3 – My book of jokes – If I ever write a book of jokes the average of suicides would increase in 31% (this scientifically proven). So my evil plan for the future is to write a jokes book in croatian. Because I love Croatia!!! “TE SISANJE”. Under any circumstances do not open an egg if you don’t know who gave you (could be mine hihihihi).

2 – Nerd Remix Album – There are some people, like us, who sometimes express themselves with “Fame Quotes” from movies and TV series, like, “awesome”, “suit up”, “It’s over 9000”, “This is Sparta”, “I love being purple”… But they (we) aren’t the nerds; the real nerds are the guys who upload remixed versions of those quotes to YouTube. Now imagine an album only with quotes remixed.

1 – “The Letter” – When I first read your challenge my first Idea was Chuck Norris jumping out from an egg and killing everything around him only with a blink of an eye. But then I realize that would be awesome. And latter that day I have a crazy dream, where I was eating an Easter egg and inside of it I found a note like this one:

Greetings Agents

I come this way to inform you that starting from this moment I will be assuming the control of the entire operation “Alfredo Needs to Get Laid Project”.
 
In other words, your blog it’s mine!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 

Hugs and Kisses
J. Leno

Thank God it was just a dream! I’m hungry!!!

I will be waiting for your verdict concerning this creepy but sweet list. See you on round 4

KISS

P.S.: Chuck Norris is so awesome because he was the only thing we could not stick inside an Easter egg.
P.P.S.: To have an idea how I woke up in that morning click here.
P.P.P.S.: Camping with negative degrees could be a good reason to burn the camping tent next to you.

Music and Video time

Greetings Agent B.,

This is also the space reserved for me to try to demonstrate how culturaly evolved i am (cof cof).
So for this fortnight less two days, we have Ellen Page. Again. And yes. I can't remeber any movie less boring. So I bring you: JUNO,also with a young men kind of annoying called Michael Cera. I gave it 10 because Ellen Page is awesome and the soundtrack is hilarious. Which is, btw, the music selection as well. Try not to fall asleep while watching it. hehehe





Kiss
So be safe, be well, eat fruit and remember: Camping with negative degrees might not sound such a good idea.

Answer post: The pin thing

Greetings Agent B.,

I must say I liked your answer very much. And your song brings sun, light, happyness and joy to every corner of Alfredo. Congratulations, it was a success!

So, for the pins: You have to agree with me on this matter, agent. YOU HAVE A THING FOR PINS! And that stinky website only brings trouble, it's too slow. when you become a successful computer engineer, please give a hand on that website, would you?

So here it is...The 10 (plus your other 3) official pins of Alfredo Needs To Get Laid Project (ANTGLP) are:






























Agent, when you said "enjoy yourself", I had no idea this could be this fun. The "coming soon" pin will eventualy come, you just have to "wait for it" (hahaha)

So for you we have a list. Since is Easter time soon, your challenge is to make me a list of the 13 worst things that can come out of an Easter Egg (those huge chocolat eggs filled with air and a thin shell of chocolat).You can present it the way you want. I'll give you three and you can put them anywhere on your list. Or don't put them at all, your choise:

1.A music box with the song we kept on listening OVER and OVER and OVER on saturday mornings;
2.A philosophy test;
3. Drunk Alfredo.

Good luck. Your challenge ends on 5/04 at 13P.M.

And don't forget,
Be safe, be well, eat fruit and remember: Drinking tea in the morning makes you pee all day.

Selection Post: Treat Me Like Your Mother!!!

Greetings Agent H.

This is the time when I talk like a fagot I try to show how cult I am......

And as usual, first the music, I present to you Sigur Ros! An unusual band from Iceland, they play together since 1994 and have musics full of symbolism and funny names like "Sé lest", "Sæglópur", "Mílanó", "Gong", "Andvari" and "Glósóli". The one I'm going to present, and probably theirs most famous song, is "Hoppipolla" (I couldn't post the video clip but you should see it because it's really amazing).

You probably don't know, but this music was shrouded in some controversy because the band accused BBC, and other english TV channels, of "violating" the music by playing it during several TV shows and publicity spots. In England they don't need authorization to use musics like that.

And for the movie I present Peter Jackson's "Lovely Bones"

You, better than anyone, knows that I'm not an expert in movies I just like to see and talk with friends about them (without spoiling too much hihihi). So just see it and tell me what you think about it. I gave 8 stars on IMDb

Hope you enjoy it and don't drink too much water from the toilet!!!

KISS

Selection post: I'm alive

Greetings Agent B.,

Don't worry I'm alive, safe and well.

For what should have been last week's post, I bring you Freddie Highmore in August Rush (translation: Augusto Rocha hehehe). It's a good movie to make jealous of someone who thinks it can play the guitar (cof cof) or any other freaking instrument



For the music selection, I don't have an album, I have a music that kept bumping into my head last week. I'm not sure you will like it.



And that's it for today.
Be safe, be well, eat fruit, and remember: next time I WILL PAY!

New Challenge: I pass algebra yeiiiiiiiii!

Greetings Agent H.

I was so occupied chewing gum's that I forgot to think in a challenge for this round.

So just wait a minute. Let’s see gum's are normally rectangles so for this round we going to have circles. Circles and awesome joined together what we make…..right!!! PINS!!!

Just a little second more….. There they are!

OK… your challenge is to present the first 13 official pins from Alfredo Needs To Get Laid Project (ANTGLP). You don’t really need to make them. You only need to go to lojadospins.com and use their software and your imagination to draw them, and lucky you, I already draw 3 so you only need 10 to complete the collection.

An e-mail with some help and info should be delivered to you until the end of the day. Your dead line is 13 P.M. of 23/03/2010.

Enjoy yourself

KISS

Answer Post: Think twice before you read this!

Greetings Agent H.

For this round you give me a challenge quite different. As usual I tried to do something very different than you originally ask. In fact is something common between you and me, when I ask you about the worst disguises for carnival I was hoping that you talk about the pijamas’ couple who was having sex on “Eris” (they were much more scary than we), but you have accomplish success in a very funny way.

For this time my first idea was to try fill chewing bubbles with Helium and make them fly. But that didn’t work because I spent all my money in something you going to know later in this post. And Helium isn’t something easy to find in a pharmacy or a mercenary. (In fact now I remember that I didn’t search for it in “Pingo-Doce”, I should have remembered that singer from theirs commercial, she was on helium when she sang that beautiful song).

Because of that, for this time I’m only going to write a simple list regarding the 10 best gums. “Ten?” you now are thinking - “it was only 8 types of gum in that box how this s*cker is going to make a top10 with only 8 gums?” - The answer my child is – The chicken could not fly, but the dodos cannot longer live either! (Probably an “wait for it…” was more funny and effective but a lot less original).

10 – The mystery gum. From the chewing delivery, I don’t know how, but I lose one of them. So I must say that I do not enjoy much gums that run from the people!

9 – Chiclets ICE Peppermint. Even there was two of them in the box they really didn’t have convinced me. They taste really god, but, they also are a bit small, so, is more difficult to make a bubble with them. But I still must say that theirs size is cool if you like to chew during classes. (But if you really want to be a rebel try to sleep during a class sitting on the first row right in front of the teacher).

8 – Bubblicious strawberry. Nothing special about this one. As you have said the bubbles are a important item for evaluation. And the reason that makes this one the number 8 is my opinion about bubblicious’ gum, they make the better bubbles.

7 and 6 – Happydent mint and “cool weed”(oO). Two gums with a good flavor but I don’t like their bubbles. Not consistent enough to fill with helium and also a little problematic for people with dental prosthesis or invisible braces.

5 – Bubblicious Crunchy. A very different gum with a texture very funny, and like all bubblicious: “that blind (because of the glasses) cat has cool bubbles waiting for you!!!”

4 – Bubblicious Lemon and Black Cherries. The coolest gum of the list!!! I never have tried this one before, and it was a really good surprise. Make black bubbles is awesome!!! And the acid flavor is good for people who don’t like gums too sweet.

3 – Gum statues. I know they weren’t in the box. But they are really amazing and I couldn’t have made a gums post without writing something about them.

2 – GORILA. Bubblicious’ bubbles are cool and gum statues are amazing but gorila…. They are f*cking EPIC!!!! The real “old time gum”. I know them since I remember and I hope they stay as they are forever. Very hard in the beginning but softer and softer as you continue to chew, and the flavor begins very discreet but then it starts to be more intense. And don’t forget that they are the only ones who give you collectible cartoons. Really AWESOME!

1 – For this position a surprise!!! "The best gum in the world" (and the worst song too). A song made by me and a accomplice from Coimbra, who has great voice for playing drums!!!! You gonna like it! (the pictures).

About this sh*t. You should know that it was recorded with the mic from a web cam, and that was the reason for the delay of the video. I've tried to improve the sound but it was impossible.


To finalize, I hope that was (not) what you were expecting for this challenge.
See you on round 3
KISS

P.S.: I really hope you're not thinking to fail the selection post.