Answer Post: Chuck Norris does it Better

Greetings Agent Hara


I've loved your Fisheye photos, the only thing I didn't understand was "Why so confused?" (hihihihi).About this round, I'm truly happy for having this opportunity to make a  tribute to our beloved Chuck Norris

So without further ado, I gave you the official ANTGLP's Chuck Norris Facts List:

1-Chuck Norris is so awesome that he will never read this shit
2-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer (including blog cancer), shame he never cries.
3-If some of ANTGLP's Agent were replaced by Chuck Norris, the only thing he would needed to respond to a challenge would be a picture of himself and it always would be epic.
4-When Chuck Norris makes publicity for a certain company, the success is so big that, they don't offer him a salary... they offer the entire company.
5- One day Alfredo challenged Chuck Norris.......... and he (Alfredo) didn't get laid again....
6-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
7-One day Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burguer King and was attended.
8-Ghosts are a result of Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
9-When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up... he pushes the earth down.
10-Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
11- Chuck Norris doesn't have nightmares, nightmares have Chuck Norris.
12- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
13-If Alfredo's wing man were Chuck Norris  this blog would never have existed....

I've loved the time I spent doing this list, hope you like it too. XP



And your new challenge is.....



It's QUEIMA time!!!!! Time to say goodbye to the older students, music, party and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of........ wait for it..... ALCOHOL!

And that reminds me of something I've been noticed in our nights out. I always miss when I have to buy you a drink! For that reason your challenge is tell me your 13 favorite drinks and (at least) 1 recipe!!!! The presentation mode is (as always) optional.
Have fun and please.... do not ask Alfredo's help for this challenge!!! Is for your own good.


KISS

Answer post: Fisheye makes my head dizzy

Greetings Agent B.,

Your answer to the Easter challenge was delightful, especially your reference to Chuck and our beloved Aquilae disco. And if jay leno took charge of ANTGLP, i would kick him in his Easter Eggs.
Operation "Say Cheese!" went wonderful, although I had to call for backup on the meanings of B N L, and I certainly don't know how to work with Mix yet. And after I have taken every photograph, I always ended up looking to the camera and thinking "okay, lets see how it looks like". I guess i'm not used to analog.

So, without further long, I give you my 13 best attempts of fisheye photographs:

This was probably one of the firsts. Since this type of angle is used on cheasy rap videoclips, here's some gangster faces (The milk carton is to show that gangsters prefer some chocolat milk in the morning instead of drugs or alcohol):





Since the camera has an option for long exposition (which should be the L one, but it's B), I decided to try to shoot some lights and here's the result (not that much of a thing):



The next stop is flowers. I broke into someone's garden to shoot them, and ened up making the mistake of not grabing the lent protector. Begginers mistake I guess:











The rest of it does not really have a story, except for my master piece (the bathhouse) in which involved me semi-naked taking photos of semi-naked girls. Too bad the light was not good enough.
And of course we have a picture of sweet Alfredo during her process of ingestion:













Hope you like it, 'cause I sure enjoyed looking like crazy with a weird camera at school. oh the youth. (no sarcasm intended)
As for the second part of the challenge, I'll definitly post some of them on YELLOW ROLL, with the caption you asked for.


So I've been low on ideas, and for your challenge I bring you a list. Again. But since you're a college guy with lots of serious stuff to do (roll on mud, lend pairs of pants, do gymnastics, watch Chuck and so on) I figured it should be something that would not take much of your time. So I bring you the "chuck norris list".Your challenge is to make a list based on your opinion of the 13 best chuck norris facts, 7 of them related to ANTGLP. I know. Not much of a challenge...but that's all we've got for this week. Your challenge ends 1/05 at 13PM




Good luck.

Be safe, be well, eat fruit and remember: Eating chips and milk for breakfast is not a good mixture.

KISS

Selection Post: The revenge from the Page

Greetings Agent Hara

I understood your friendly obsession by Ellen Page, in fact, I admire it but this selection post will teach you how to honor someone here at Alfredo's Project.

So in this post we will honor my music God Mr. Jack White.

During is career he played in several bands but I'm only going to speak about the three most important The White Stripes, The Raconteurs and more recently The Dead Weather.

The Raconteurs have 2 albums: Broken Boy Soldiers and Consoler Of The Lonely. And theirs most successful single is Steady as she Goes:

The White Stripes have 10 years of history 6 album, lots of singles and 2 movies. They are probably the most unusual duo in music history and....... wait for it.... they are not brothers! In fact they are ex husband and wife since 2000. The movie under great white northern lights is really amazing and Icky Thump is one of my favorite songs.

His last project is The Dead Weather and they have tons of power (and alcohol). They have started in 2009 and already have one studio plus one live album, and plans for the second studio album (very very fast). And surprise surprise! Jack is on the drums! THESE GUYS ARE CRAZY! AWESOME!!!!!

Jack also entered a movie called It Might Get Loud! No words about it... just guitars. Three amazing guitarists Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), The Edge (U2) and the great Jack White (of course). Incredible......

Hope you have enjoyed the lesson

KISS


P.S.: I forgot to mention that Jack is the number 17 in the list of the best guitarists made by RollingStone

New Challenge: Fuck digital! Let's do it old school!!!

Greetings Agent Hara

It’s now time for your fourth challenge, code name – “Say cheese!!!”

I’ve notice your other blog has been practically stopped since you became an ANTGLP’s agent. I don’t wanna be a reason for your lack of time so your next mission it’s going to be so awesome that you will need to post something about it at the YELLOW ROLL

Before the mission even started I’ve sent to you a “Fisheye” cam and also gave you some vital instructions to use it. Your mission is capture many photos you want and present your 13 favorites, as always you’re free to choose the way you want to present them.

And don’t forget your other blog! Do like you use to, first a picture then write something nice, use your imagination. By the way, if you mention my name you must say how ugly, smelly and sexually available I am (apparently women like it) and that is not optional!!!

About the Fisheye, there are three reasons for choosing that camera:

1. This is a Lomography cam, and Lomography is an artistic movement of photography which I truly admire.
2. It has a lens capable of capture almost 180 degrees around it (don’t be surprised if your feet accidentally appear in the picture hahaha).
3. And it’s really awesome.

You probably need to go here to learn the 10 golden rules on Lomography and your deadline  is 13 PM 18/04/2010

Have fun and remember cups of beer left near urinals, they usually aren’t full of beer.

KISS

P.S.: A few weeks ago Marta requested that hers artwork for Alfredo’s birthday present was exposed here at ANTGLP’s Blog.
P.P.S.: I’m offering to do it under the condition she needs to actualize her blog too. (I don't care if it has cancer)
P.P.P.S.: I hope not. But if she mention my name, she also needs to follow that non optional rule.

Answer Post: I'm with Coco

Greetings Agent Hara

Before I show you the answer for the last challenge, let me say that it’s being really funny sharing this crazy blog with you, despite some grammar mistakes and a certain naked woman (who wasn’t naked). About the pins, I knew that you’d like drawing those pins, which by the way are amazingly awesome!!! (Still waiting for it…). Nice work my child.

And now it’s time to get the job done. If I remember correctly you wanted a list of the 13 worse things that can come out of an Easter egg. You also gave 3 examples for the list, but I’m only going to use 2. Because, if I really understood the “symbology” of the first, I must disagree with you on that one (friendship reasons).
So here’s the list:

13 and 12 - The philosophy test and drunk Alfredo – So agent, I admit,  these are prety bad. But my sadistic mind can do really worse.

11 – Another Egg – At first you could think – Yeah free egg! – But then you realize that, if instead of a surprise gift, is a smaller egg, the gift inside the second egg is going to be smaller too. I usually like to keep things short and simple, but, when it comes to eggs I love it big! Like Big Mike’s size (you know what I’m talking about).

10 – Coupon – “Congrats you’ve eaten one of our smelly and bad tasting eggs! And now you won a 10% of discount in an also miserable prize!” – Imagine all the crap who could cam with this: Soundtracks of “Morangos com Açúcar”, Barbie’s and Action Eunuchs, trips to “Três Minas” or “Soutelo”, or…..wait for it…. can’t believe I’m going to say this….. A SMALLER EGG! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

9 – The Code – Is the name I’ve created for those situations when, we need to send a text message with “the code” (or something similar) for the possibility of winning a prize. “We sell thousands of empty eggs and gave away only a dozen of gifts, so, anyone can call us crooks”. In conclusion this is bad because you pay for the egg, then for the message and the possibility of winning something is 1/100000.

8 – Nothing – this one is like a borderline between the bad and the horrendous. I must warn you! If you’re not impressed with my work so far, do not underestimate me for the top 7.

7 – Naked Kramer – Seinfeld was probably the first American TV show that I’ve seen and probably one of the best. Kramer was a main character of the show. I remember him when I see Chuck’s friends (especially Jeff and Morgan). He was fantastic but in a couple of times he has appeared naked, and that my friend wasn’t awesome (believe me). I also know that you’re really fancy for the “naked man” but you should pass Kramer.

6 – Lifetime Pass to VPA’s Disco – “Welcome to Sausage Land, where you can find 30 man for each woman, the music sucks since we open until we close and you can spend 25€ in only 3 drinks!” – I do not waste more time with this one. (Actually I spent 26€ in 3 drinks).

5 – Mom’s recording messages – You probably know that when I was young I wasn’t exactly an easy child. My mom was always telling me: “Go to bed”, “brush your teeth”,”do your homework”, “don’t play with your sister’s nose”, “and don’t do experiments that could burn the house!”… She told me that so many times that one day she threatened me that would record those sentences and play them if I was doing something wrong. You have to admit this is much worse than the “music box” which you’ve referred at the other post.

4 – Sunglasses in a rainy day – This is the group of gifts, which are amazing, but for some reason also useless, like sunglasses in a rainy day, skis in the desert, a parachutes in a cave, condoms at Alfredo’s house….

3 – My book of jokes – If I ever write a book of jokes the average of suicides would increase in 31% (this scientifically proven). So my evil plan for the future is to write a jokes book in croatian. Because I love Croatia!!! “TE SISANJE”. Under any circumstances do not open an egg if you don’t know who gave you (could be mine hihihihi).

2 – Nerd Remix Album – There are some people, like us, who sometimes express themselves with “Fame Quotes” from movies and TV series, like, “awesome”, “suit up”, “It’s over 9000”, “This is Sparta”, “I love being purple”… But they (we) aren’t the nerds; the real nerds are the guys who upload remixed versions of those quotes to YouTube. Now imagine an album only with quotes remixed.

1 – “The Letter” – When I first read your challenge my first Idea was Chuck Norris jumping out from an egg and killing everything around him only with a blink of an eye. But then I realize that would be awesome. And latter that day I have a crazy dream, where I was eating an Easter egg and inside of it I found a note like this one:

Greetings Agents

I come this way to inform you that starting from this moment I will be assuming the control of the entire operation “Alfredo Needs to Get Laid Project”.
 
In other words, your blog it’s mine!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 

Hugs and Kisses
J. Leno

Thank God it was just a dream! I’m hungry!!!

I will be waiting for your verdict concerning this creepy but sweet list. See you on round 4

KISS

P.S.: Chuck Norris is so awesome because he was the only thing we could not stick inside an Easter egg.
P.P.S.: To have an idea how I woke up in that morning click here.
P.P.P.S.: Camping with negative degrees could be a good reason to burn the camping tent next to you.

Music and Video time

Greetings Agent B.,

This is also the space reserved for me to try to demonstrate how culturaly evolved i am (cof cof).
So for this fortnight less two days, we have Ellen Page. Again. And yes. I can't remeber any movie less boring. So I bring you: JUNO,also with a young men kind of annoying called Michael Cera. I gave it 10 because Ellen Page is awesome and the soundtrack is hilarious. Which is, btw, the music selection as well. Try not to fall asleep while watching it. hehehe





Kiss
So be safe, be well, eat fruit and remember: Camping with negative degrees might not sound such a good idea.